It seems like 2011 is the year of the Lists. Every where I turn, I am making lists of things I want to make sure I do, things I don't want to do, acts I would like to continue, acts I don't want to continue. I made my list of resolutions or ideas at the beginning of the year, but now they keep growing. I like this feeling, but at the same time I want to make sure that I actually follow them rather than make them and then they fall to the waist-side.
I made a list on my whiteboard in my bathroom. The whiteboard is there to remind me of school and bill deadlines. Now it also holds a list of things to remember every day.
1. is "SAVE $". It is to remind me that I don't have to have everything. I have redone my wardrobe. It is good for now.
2. is "PEACE (peace sign)". It is to remind me that I need to find peace in everything. Not everything has to be such a big deal. Let it go. I need to remember that when I am starving and just want to sit down and eat.
3. is "BEAUTY (sparkly star image)". It is to remind me that I need to spend more time on my appearance because I AM beautiful. Ever since I was a kid I didn't spend time on my appearance because I never believed I was beautiful. I was surrounded by people that didn't believe I was at all pretty. So I never believed it myself. So I didn't do anything to my nails (sometimes I did...but it looked crappy and people loved to point it out), face (I didn't do it well in High School so for awhile I looked like a painted clown. Someone pointed it out and so I stopped), or really hair (bad haircuts...just bad haircuts). Now I am really going to do something for my appearance. Make sure to do my hair, paint my own nails (I still need to follow #1), and make sure to take care of other beauty needs (of course still making sure to follow #1).
4. is "SELF :)". It is to remind me to take time out of life to take care of myself. That makes more bubble baths with some new age music blasting. To read more fun books. To have weekends like this where I do absolutely nothing and so I have time to do errands that are for me.
and last but not least, "FRIENDS :) :)". It is to remind myself to still take time to appreciate the friends that I have. Take time out to spend time with all of them (whether it be group or single). Because I still have friends out there that I still consider friends but I don't see often. Even when they live 15 minutes again. I want to show my appreciation to them and that I still think of them as one of my friends. Also to remember that these were the people that stuck by me even when the shit was constantly hitting the fan. They stuck by through everything. I want to make sure I show them my gratitude.
So, that's one list. Another is not a list but really an emphasis of everything that has been listed before. I have decided that I am going to only go grocery shopping once a month and that I am only allowed to buy $100.00. I was able to do it in college, and I think I can still do it now. Now the reason why I put a time limit is because it seemed like I was going to Trader Joe's once to three times a week. Those visits started to add up money wise. And, really, a lot of the stuff I would buy ended up being thrown away because they would go bad. Now that I have this time restraint, I buy only the essentials. And with these, I tend to buy enough that I can stretch them out. For instance, I bought a carton of raspberries that I divided them up into packages of around 11 berries (8 packages). Four are in the refrigerator. Four are in the freezer. So that way I will not feel the need to go to Trader Joe's if I run out (and they won't go bad because I plan to eat them with my greek yoghurt once a day).
In relation to grocery shopping, I am determined that I will not eat a lot of processed foods. I will also try not to eat out too much. Now, I am not going to be too strict about that. Of course, I can't help it when I am out with friends or with my parents (just tonight we spent all night trying to find a place to eat out). But I can help it when I am alone. It's not fast food that I have a problem with (I haven't had fast food in a long time...excluding In 'N Out. I am talking McDonald's, Carl's Jr., etc.). It's the fact that when I do eat alone by myself I don't eat fast food. I eat the slightly more pricey food. If I am going to save, might as well cut that out. And the avoiding processed food is a given. As I told my dad, I don't want to be so preserved that I am 110 years old and I just want to die because I am lonely. I want to die a good ripe age of 80 without the help of preservatives. Again, I understand that some foods are going to have preservatives. But I can at least cut out most of them. For instance, when I used to bring lunch into work I would eat the Lean Cuisines and Healthy Choice meals. Those are good calorie wise, but think of all the weird chemicals they put in there to make them low calorie. I would rather have middle calorie intake and know what is going into my food. So lately I have been bringing lunch with food that can carry. Like burritos that I make on the spot or turkey burgers (burgers that I put together, grilled and froze in the freezer). This time around I went even further and bought sweet potatoes (already cut into spears) and made my own sweet potato fries and froze for my future lunch. Because sometimes I don't even trust the frozen packages they have at Trader Joe's.
Of course, I am not going to be strict. If I slip and buy a package of frozen sweet potatoes I am not going to make a massive scene (picture: wailing, a kimono, and a white mask streaked with tears). This is just me wanting to feel better about my food choices. This comes down to two desires: 1. save money and 2. to stop being an over-eater. Now, I know #1 would be easier with a full time job and #2 will never happen. But I can try, right? I can at least make it a habit to want to eat better foods and not crave fatty, carbo-filled, chocolate-covered, massive amounts of preservatives that fill my waking dreams. Right? I think so.
Don't worry, my friends. I will not be moving to a farm and asking you to call me Rainbow. Yet. ;)
The travails and gallavantings of an Asian queer lady who loves to read, write, and create havoc.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Get the Back Up
The weekend after New Year's, my sister and I went skiing. I haven't skiied much since last year, but I was confident that I would still be warmed up to do all right for that weekend. Well other than my muscles hurting, I was doing just fine. I was going down the mountain with ease.
Until that late afternoon. What used to be wonderful powder was now becoming slippery ice and as I was going down one run I was surprised by one icy patch. What ensued was a comical roll down the hill that involved losing my glasses, goggles, hat, and one ski. When I was younger this type of wipeout would involve a sad rendition of a spoiled little brat with tears. This time, I looked with blurred eyes up the mountain and attempted to climb that mountain until I had all my possessions in hand. Even as I continued to slide down the hill, I would just get back up and climb again.
As I was attempting this foolhardy mission, I just kept thinking how this could be a metaphor for life. So you failed. Just get back up. So you wiped out on a random patch of "ice" and rolled down the hill. You can still get back up and collect yourself. You may be a little sore, but you are still alive.
In Life, I have always been afraid of failing in my decisions. But I have slowly been accepting that it's ok to fail. As in skiing, I can get back up and move on. It's a great feeling knowing that failing is not always a bad thing.
On that note, I should accept that in my cooking as well. I have been failing in my cooking times so that the food I have been cooking is undercooked. I have been reacting how I used to (blaming other things, factors, etc). But I need to realize 1.) thicker slabs of meat will need more time and 2.) it's ok to fail in cooking. Just make note of it and move on. At least this time it's not the flavor but cooking time.
So, just like with skiing, I just need to get the back up and regain composure. It's ok to fall down.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Until that late afternoon. What used to be wonderful powder was now becoming slippery ice and as I was going down one run I was surprised by one icy patch. What ensued was a comical roll down the hill that involved losing my glasses, goggles, hat, and one ski. When I was younger this type of wipeout would involve a sad rendition of a spoiled little brat with tears. This time, I looked with blurred eyes up the mountain and attempted to climb that mountain until I had all my possessions in hand. Even as I continued to slide down the hill, I would just get back up and climb again.
As I was attempting this foolhardy mission, I just kept thinking how this could be a metaphor for life. So you failed. Just get back up. So you wiped out on a random patch of "ice" and rolled down the hill. You can still get back up and collect yourself. You may be a little sore, but you are still alive.
In Life, I have always been afraid of failing in my decisions. But I have slowly been accepting that it's ok to fail. As in skiing, I can get back up and move on. It's a great feeling knowing that failing is not always a bad thing.
On that note, I should accept that in my cooking as well. I have been failing in my cooking times so that the food I have been cooking is undercooked. I have been reacting how I used to (blaming other things, factors, etc). But I need to realize 1.) thicker slabs of meat will need more time and 2.) it's ok to fail in cooking. Just make note of it and move on. At least this time it's not the flavor but cooking time.
So, just like with skiing, I just need to get the back up and regain composure. It's ok to fall down.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Friday, December 31, 2010
This Year
With everything that has happened this past year, I decided I was going to make a list of things for 2011.
1. These adjectives will not be allowed towards me: stupid, lazy, selfish, fat, ugly
2. Nor will the phrase that states I need to think will be permitted to be uttered in my presence without my being able to then defend myself with either sharp words or a huge "I Quit" sign.
3. Also, I will not let people tell me how I think, feel, or should do. I am not a doll. I actually have a brain that knows what to do. I have let people make my own decisions or tell me who I am and that's not right. I can make my own decisions now.
4. I will continue to work on the friendships that matter and let the ones that are toxic to fall away. I have done enough work on them.
5. I will continue to work on my self esteem and body image. I am beautiful, and I don't need to worry about my weight. I would rather be healthy than skinny.
6. No more colds for 2011!
7. Save more, spend less.
8. Have fun! Get schoolwork done in the process.
9. Read more. My poor books have not been loved this year. :(
10. Do more stuff by myself: going to movies, etc. Be ok to spend more me time in public.
I don't think these are resolutions...just guidelines. :) Let's see how it goes!
1. These adjectives will not be allowed towards me: stupid, lazy, selfish, fat, ugly
2. Nor will the phrase that states I need to think will be permitted to be uttered in my presence without my being able to then defend myself with either sharp words or a huge "I Quit" sign.
3. Also, I will not let people tell me how I think, feel, or should do. I am not a doll. I actually have a brain that knows what to do. I have let people make my own decisions or tell me who I am and that's not right. I can make my own decisions now.
4. I will continue to work on the friendships that matter and let the ones that are toxic to fall away. I have done enough work on them.
5. I will continue to work on my self esteem and body image. I am beautiful, and I don't need to worry about my weight. I would rather be healthy than skinny.
6. No more colds for 2011!
7. Save more, spend less.
8. Have fun! Get schoolwork done in the process.
9. Read more. My poor books have not been loved this year. :(
10. Do more stuff by myself: going to movies, etc. Be ok to spend more me time in public.
I don't think these are resolutions...just guidelines. :) Let's see how it goes!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Follow Up
Now that everything has calmed down, I should really explain my last post. Also to give an actual update in my life in general! I know I have not been the biggest poster lately.
Okay, what did you quit?
I quit my job. The one that I have had for 2.5 years that has drained, chewed, annihilated my soul to the point where it is hurting my body. After getting a bad cold three months in a row, going to the doctor (that cost me $132) because of inflammation in my chest wall, and having tiny nervous breakdowns in the bathroom (I tried meditating...it didn't work) I finally decided I could not wait until I graduated to quit. After bugging my poor friend until she finally said, "Just shut up and quit already!", I decided that it was finally time.
Now, the thought process on this was a quick and successive one. First, I was going to leave once I got a new job. Then, when things started to get worse, I decided I was going to quit after the holidays no ifs ands or buts. Lastly, when my boss decided to tell me that I needed to think before I prepared my documents (she's done this before), I decided to quit that day. I had to calm down before I could do it (I didn't want staplers flying in the direction of my boss...that would have been messy), but I did it. I was still shaky while doing it, and I think I will always be shaky when thinking that I am going to leave the one place I have known for two and a half years. I know, it sounds ridiculous because it still seems so short. But this was the longest I had been in a job. I think the reason why I stayed so long was because of the fact that I didn't want to be seen as one that always was unhappy. I wanted to prove paper-wise that I was a good worker that stays and does the job right. But the situation could not warrant me the ability to stay much longer. When I went to the doctor she kept saying that all of this is caused by stress.
Now, Kaiser loves to emphasize certain things: obesity, stress, eat right, etc. So when the doctor kept saying it was stress I rolled my eyes silently and went on my merry way. But looking back, it really is stress. Now, I haven't been sick for two and a half years. I think what helped was that I used to sit in an area filled with happier people. Before we moved, I used to sit with people that 1. liked me and 2. would talk to me about things other than work. As we worked we would talk about life, opinions, what's going on. We would share pictures, life stories, etc. We would complain a little: about clients, some of what my boss would do, and stuff that we had to do. But then we would get back to happier things because it was easier to let the crappy stuff roll away for happier things.
But when we moved three months ago, I was forced to sit in a cubicle with a new coworker of mine that 1. did not like me and made sure I knew it and 2. was never happy. Everything was a horrible thing. My boss was terrible. Why did she do this? Why did I do this? Everything was doom and gloom. And don't get me started on the talking/swearing to herself bit. Basically I worked with a pissy parrot that either threw its feces at you or smiled as it did it. I started really dreading coming into work because I would be greated by a grunt and a growl every morning. If I was lucky. The people that I used to work with? Divided by a huge brown wall. I think we all get the picture.
So, it was time. It was either really complain to my boss (who was starting to get into her really foul mood that wouldn't involve good communication) and see if I could try to be moved, or quit. Since I am going to graduate soon and should be getting more library experience, I decided to quit.
The Future!
I wasn't taking too much of a risk. I also am doing a part time temporary job at my old internship at San Mateo County Library, so I would still have that income while I looked for a job. And I was able to find another job really quickly as well. In January I will be starting a part time job as a Center Instructor through Sylvan Learning Center. It is also temporary (lasting until March or May), but this will help pad my resume with more teaching/tutoring skills which is what I need.
You see, I finally decided that I would love to be a Reference and Instruction Librarian at an academic library either at a university/college or community college. I prefer community college though because it is smaller, better pay, and probably has more of the demographics that I would like to work with. I am learning that I love literacy. I love teaching it. I love talking about it. When I had interviewed for my internship I was just BS'ing my way through it. I was more interested in getting any sort of internship, really. And when I got it I kept thinking, "Should I really take this? It is all way in East Palo Alto ("EPA") and I'm not that interested in literacy..." But I took it because something told me that it would lead somewhere. Also, I was interested in teaching. To be honest, I have always been interested in teaching. I have been told though that I don't have the patience. And maybe sometimes I can be a little cross when people don't get what I am teaching. So with this knowledge I was never sure that I could be a teacher. When I got the internship what got me to say yes was the fact that I wanted to see if I would like it or if I could do it. Now I know I do like it and I can do it. And it is not just me that believes it, my peers believe it too. My supervisors and coworkers have all come up to me saying that I do an amazing job. And it must have been true because here I am again helping out while my supervisor is on maternity leave.
So, that's why I took a temporary job rather than wait out for a permanent one. I need more experience, and if I can get it in a job that will carry me through a few months than shoot why not? Better than being in a permanent job like my last one where all I can think of is, "How is this going to help me in the end?" In the end, I am jumping for the right reasons. I feel like for awhile I was jumping or staying for all the wrong reasons. Now it is all for the right reasons and I am immensely happy.
Okay, I'm bored now. What else are you doing?
Nothing, really. My personal life has become my job. School is finished with passing grades (A and A-...yippee!), and my dating life is very stagnant. I am too busy! You try dating with two jobs and school! If you can pull it off while being able to sleep, let me know! That's the one thing that I miss immensely: sleeping. Okay, I know that I don't have kids and that imagine it being 10 times harder, but this has been the busiest I have ever been. If I do have kids, I will probably change my mind. But for now, I am tired and would like to hide in a hole. I have been running around it seems for a long while now, especially in December. Now, I have had some fun in there too so I have sacrificed my sleep for fun. But that's why I think a cave would be great. I love my friends and I am so happy that through all this I have them to lean on and help me look at better things in life. But I think I need some time for myself that involves a lot of knitting, movies, and things that are called pajamas. And maybe some Amie love time because I know he has not been happy with me about leaving him alone all this month. I try to spend time with him, but not enough to satisfy his needy ego.
The Year in Review
Good things, bad things, I jumped out of a plane without dying and crapping my pants, still working on future, finally ending it with such a huge jump I think I will crap my pants but probably just hyperventilate and know it is a good thing. And, it seems, beginning and ending it with Disneyland.
The End. :-D
Okay, what did you quit?
I quit my job. The one that I have had for 2.5 years that has drained, chewed, annihilated my soul to the point where it is hurting my body. After getting a bad cold three months in a row, going to the doctor (that cost me $132) because of inflammation in my chest wall, and having tiny nervous breakdowns in the bathroom (I tried meditating...it didn't work) I finally decided I could not wait until I graduated to quit. After bugging my poor friend until she finally said, "Just shut up and quit already!", I decided that it was finally time.
Now, the thought process on this was a quick and successive one. First, I was going to leave once I got a new job. Then, when things started to get worse, I decided I was going to quit after the holidays no ifs ands or buts. Lastly, when my boss decided to tell me that I needed to think before I prepared my documents (she's done this before), I decided to quit that day. I had to calm down before I could do it (I didn't want staplers flying in the direction of my boss...that would have been messy), but I did it. I was still shaky while doing it, and I think I will always be shaky when thinking that I am going to leave the one place I have known for two and a half years. I know, it sounds ridiculous because it still seems so short. But this was the longest I had been in a job. I think the reason why I stayed so long was because of the fact that I didn't want to be seen as one that always was unhappy. I wanted to prove paper-wise that I was a good worker that stays and does the job right. But the situation could not warrant me the ability to stay much longer. When I went to the doctor she kept saying that all of this is caused by stress.
Now, Kaiser loves to emphasize certain things: obesity, stress, eat right, etc. So when the doctor kept saying it was stress I rolled my eyes silently and went on my merry way. But looking back, it really is stress. Now, I haven't been sick for two and a half years. I think what helped was that I used to sit in an area filled with happier people. Before we moved, I used to sit with people that 1. liked me and 2. would talk to me about things other than work. As we worked we would talk about life, opinions, what's going on. We would share pictures, life stories, etc. We would complain a little: about clients, some of what my boss would do, and stuff that we had to do. But then we would get back to happier things because it was easier to let the crappy stuff roll away for happier things.
But when we moved three months ago, I was forced to sit in a cubicle with a new coworker of mine that 1. did not like me and made sure I knew it and 2. was never happy. Everything was a horrible thing. My boss was terrible. Why did she do this? Why did I do this? Everything was doom and gloom. And don't get me started on the talking/swearing to herself bit. Basically I worked with a pissy parrot that either threw its feces at you or smiled as it did it. I started really dreading coming into work because I would be greated by a grunt and a growl every morning. If I was lucky. The people that I used to work with? Divided by a huge brown wall. I think we all get the picture.
So, it was time. It was either really complain to my boss (who was starting to get into her really foul mood that wouldn't involve good communication) and see if I could try to be moved, or quit. Since I am going to graduate soon and should be getting more library experience, I decided to quit.
The Future!
I wasn't taking too much of a risk. I also am doing a part time temporary job at my old internship at San Mateo County Library, so I would still have that income while I looked for a job. And I was able to find another job really quickly as well. In January I will be starting a part time job as a Center Instructor through Sylvan Learning Center. It is also temporary (lasting until March or May), but this will help pad my resume with more teaching/tutoring skills which is what I need.
You see, I finally decided that I would love to be a Reference and Instruction Librarian at an academic library either at a university/college or community college. I prefer community college though because it is smaller, better pay, and probably has more of the demographics that I would like to work with. I am learning that I love literacy. I love teaching it. I love talking about it. When I had interviewed for my internship I was just BS'ing my way through it. I was more interested in getting any sort of internship, really. And when I got it I kept thinking, "Should I really take this? It is all way in East Palo Alto ("EPA") and I'm not that interested in literacy..." But I took it because something told me that it would lead somewhere. Also, I was interested in teaching. To be honest, I have always been interested in teaching. I have been told though that I don't have the patience. And maybe sometimes I can be a little cross when people don't get what I am teaching. So with this knowledge I was never sure that I could be a teacher. When I got the internship what got me to say yes was the fact that I wanted to see if I would like it or if I could do it. Now I know I do like it and I can do it. And it is not just me that believes it, my peers believe it too. My supervisors and coworkers have all come up to me saying that I do an amazing job. And it must have been true because here I am again helping out while my supervisor is on maternity leave.
So, that's why I took a temporary job rather than wait out for a permanent one. I need more experience, and if I can get it in a job that will carry me through a few months than shoot why not? Better than being in a permanent job like my last one where all I can think of is, "How is this going to help me in the end?" In the end, I am jumping for the right reasons. I feel like for awhile I was jumping or staying for all the wrong reasons. Now it is all for the right reasons and I am immensely happy.
Okay, I'm bored now. What else are you doing?
Nothing, really. My personal life has become my job. School is finished with passing grades (A and A-...yippee!), and my dating life is very stagnant. I am too busy! You try dating with two jobs and school! If you can pull it off while being able to sleep, let me know! That's the one thing that I miss immensely: sleeping. Okay, I know that I don't have kids and that imagine it being 10 times harder, but this has been the busiest I have ever been. If I do have kids, I will probably change my mind. But for now, I am tired and would like to hide in a hole. I have been running around it seems for a long while now, especially in December. Now, I have had some fun in there too so I have sacrificed my sleep for fun. But that's why I think a cave would be great. I love my friends and I am so happy that through all this I have them to lean on and help me look at better things in life. But I think I need some time for myself that involves a lot of knitting, movies, and things that are called pajamas. And maybe some Amie love time because I know he has not been happy with me about leaving him alone all this month. I try to spend time with him, but not enough to satisfy his needy ego.
The Year in Review
Good things, bad things, I jumped out of a plane without dying and crapping my pants, still working on future, finally ending it with such a huge jump I think I will crap my pants but probably just hyperventilate and know it is a good thing. And, it seems, beginning and ending it with Disneyland.
The End. :-D
Monday, December 20, 2010
Iquitiquitiquitiquitiquitiquitiquitiquit...
I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah...I'm done. So long. See ya. I'm finished being called stupid, whydon'tithinkyousillylittlegirl.
Done. I quit. I would rather be happy and flat broke than this nonsense.
So long. Farewell. Good-bye. Don't think I will stay awhile. I may be nice to you, but don't think I will put up with your shit. Nope. No more. My poor tongue has been bitten so many times it needs a band-aid and stitches.
So long. Farewell. Good-bye. F you.
*done ranting*
I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah...I'm done. So long. See ya. I'm finished being called stupid, whydon'tithinkyousillylittlegirl.
Done. I quit. I would rather be happy and flat broke than this nonsense.
So long. Farewell. Good-bye. Don't think I will stay awhile. I may be nice to you, but don't think I will put up with your shit. Nope. No more. My poor tongue has been bitten so many times it needs a band-aid and stitches.
So long. Farewell. Good-bye. F you.
*done ranting*
Monday, November 1, 2010
THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS WON!!!
According to Wikipedia, the San Francisco Giants have not won the World Series since 1954 when they were the New York Giants.
That has all changed, baby!!!! They won against the Texas Rangers to finally win! They almost made it in 2002, but I believe egos got the best of them. This team of misfits and freaks finally proved to people that this game is not all about who gets the most home runs or who does the best in everything. It is about hard work and dedication. Also, it is the team that wins; it is not the individual. Every single team member won that game today, my friends.
Now, people will think that I am a local who is just crowing because her local team won. People who know me though know that I am not that at all. I started watching when they entered into the World Series in 2002. I was sad that they lost, but was determined that they would next year. Every season I kept watching and kept getting disappointed. But I still was a fan. I fought for them. I went to games and rallied for them. One of my best friends (an Oakland A's fan) and I would get into fun fights over who is best. I have two jerseys and a sweater pronouncing my love for the Giants.
So, there. I have deserved this honor to FINALLY see them win (although, technically I didn't get to see them...I was stuck at my computer doing school...baaaaahhhh. But I say the best part!). So...booyah, bitches. Booyah!
And, to end this marvelous post:
That has all changed, baby!!!! They won against the Texas Rangers to finally win! They almost made it in 2002, but I believe egos got the best of them. This team of misfits and freaks finally proved to people that this game is not all about who gets the most home runs or who does the best in everything. It is about hard work and dedication. Also, it is the team that wins; it is not the individual. Every single team member won that game today, my friends.
Now, people will think that I am a local who is just crowing because her local team won. People who know me though know that I am not that at all. I started watching when they entered into the World Series in 2002. I was sad that they lost, but was determined that they would next year. Every season I kept watching and kept getting disappointed. But I still was a fan. I fought for them. I went to games and rallied for them. One of my best friends (an Oakland A's fan) and I would get into fun fights over who is best. I have two jerseys and a sweater pronouncing my love for the Giants.
So, there. I have deserved this honor to FINALLY see them win (although, technically I didn't get to see them...I was stuck at my computer doing school...baaaaahhhh. But I say the best part!). So...booyah, bitches. Booyah!
And, to end this marvelous post:
Friday, September 10, 2010
"Eat Pray Love"
When I first read "Eat Pray Love", it was during a time in my life when things just didn't make sense for me. I had been struggling for three years to get my footing after college, and I was realizing that what I wanted wasn't actually what I wanted. I had thought I was taking a chance, but actually I was going down the road that others had wanted for me. So when I read this book, it opened up my eyes to ideas and thoughts that I never thought I could have before. I took out of it the idea of risking everything to find wholeness. After I read that book, I was inspired to find myself as well through risking everything and doing my own path. I quit the job that I absolutely hated. I applied for the Library and Information Science graduate course. I risked everything in order to find my true self.
Well, the movie just came out. I wasn't as excited to see the movie because I don't trust Hollywood when it comes to book adaptations. I was willing to give the movie a try. Not many people wanted to see it with me, so on Sunday I went to my local theater and had a "me" date.
I didn't realize how moved I could be by that movie. It struck a chord that I didn't realize was inside of me. It also brought a lot of emotions up to the surface that I had been trying to keep deep inside me. So I have decided to read it again. But I am reading it in a whole different angle. It is helping with my heartbreak. Helping me open my eyes about my latest relationship and just really helping me bring closure to it all. But I wasn't ready to have this flood of emotion come over me just yet. A lot of anger and bitterness that I had been trying to keep at bay. I am trying not to dwell on it and let it pass, but it has been hard this week. But I am moving forward, letting the emotions ride and then hopefully fall away.
I am also trying to face it with a healthy attitude instead of how I was before. I was realizing that I was trying to not deal with it all with wine, so I am trying not to drink as much wine as I was before. I don't believe I am an alcoholics (they go to meetings), but I do believe I was dealing with everything with an unhealthy attitude. I think the movie and the book is helping me finally come to terms with everything I was trying to hide and bury inside of me.
It is still going to be a rough battle. Although it is helpful to read the book again and find inspiration again, I am still working it all out. But I am confident now that everything will be all right.
Yes, that's right. Everything will be all right.
Well, the movie just came out. I wasn't as excited to see the movie because I don't trust Hollywood when it comes to book adaptations. I was willing to give the movie a try. Not many people wanted to see it with me, so on Sunday I went to my local theater and had a "me" date.
I didn't realize how moved I could be by that movie. It struck a chord that I didn't realize was inside of me. It also brought a lot of emotions up to the surface that I had been trying to keep deep inside me. So I have decided to read it again. But I am reading it in a whole different angle. It is helping with my heartbreak. Helping me open my eyes about my latest relationship and just really helping me bring closure to it all. But I wasn't ready to have this flood of emotion come over me just yet. A lot of anger and bitterness that I had been trying to keep at bay. I am trying not to dwell on it and let it pass, but it has been hard this week. But I am moving forward, letting the emotions ride and then hopefully fall away.
I am also trying to face it with a healthy attitude instead of how I was before. I was realizing that I was trying to not deal with it all with wine, so I am trying not to drink as much wine as I was before. I don't believe I am an alcoholics (they go to meetings), but I do believe I was dealing with everything with an unhealthy attitude. I think the movie and the book is helping me finally come to terms with everything I was trying to hide and bury inside of me.
It is still going to be a rough battle. Although it is helpful to read the book again and find inspiration again, I am still working it all out. But I am confident now that everything will be all right.
Yes, that's right. Everything will be all right.
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