It seems like 2011 is the year of the Lists. Every where I turn, I am making lists of things I want to make sure I do, things I don't want to do, acts I would like to continue, acts I don't want to continue. I made my list of resolutions or ideas at the beginning of the year, but now they keep growing. I like this feeling, but at the same time I want to make sure that I actually follow them rather than make them and then they fall to the waist-side.
I made a list on my whiteboard in my bathroom. The whiteboard is there to remind me of school and bill deadlines. Now it also holds a list of things to remember every day.
1. is "SAVE $". It is to remind me that I don't have to have everything. I have redone my wardrobe. It is good for now.
2. is "PEACE (peace sign)". It is to remind me that I need to find peace in everything. Not everything has to be such a big deal. Let it go. I need to remember that when I am starving and just want to sit down and eat.
3. is "BEAUTY (sparkly star image)". It is to remind me that I need to spend more time on my appearance because I AM beautiful. Ever since I was a kid I didn't spend time on my appearance because I never believed I was beautiful. I was surrounded by people that didn't believe I was at all pretty. So I never believed it myself. So I didn't do anything to my nails (sometimes I did...but it looked crappy and people loved to point it out), face (I didn't do it well in High School so for awhile I looked like a painted clown. Someone pointed it out and so I stopped), or really hair (bad haircuts...just bad haircuts). Now I am really going to do something for my appearance. Make sure to do my hair, paint my own nails (I still need to follow #1), and make sure to take care of other beauty needs (of course still making sure to follow #1).
4. is "SELF :)". It is to remind me to take time out of life to take care of myself. That makes more bubble baths with some new age music blasting. To read more fun books. To have weekends like this where I do absolutely nothing and so I have time to do errands that are for me.
and last but not least, "FRIENDS :) :)". It is to remind myself to still take time to appreciate the friends that I have. Take time out to spend time with all of them (whether it be group or single). Because I still have friends out there that I still consider friends but I don't see often. Even when they live 15 minutes again. I want to show my appreciation to them and that I still think of them as one of my friends. Also to remember that these were the people that stuck by me even when the shit was constantly hitting the fan. They stuck by through everything. I want to make sure I show them my gratitude.
So, that's one list. Another is not a list but really an emphasis of everything that has been listed before. I have decided that I am going to only go grocery shopping once a month and that I am only allowed to buy $100.00. I was able to do it in college, and I think I can still do it now. Now the reason why I put a time limit is because it seemed like I was going to Trader Joe's once to three times a week. Those visits started to add up money wise. And, really, a lot of the stuff I would buy ended up being thrown away because they would go bad. Now that I have this time restraint, I buy only the essentials. And with these, I tend to buy enough that I can stretch them out. For instance, I bought a carton of raspberries that I divided them up into packages of around 11 berries (8 packages). Four are in the refrigerator. Four are in the freezer. So that way I will not feel the need to go to Trader Joe's if I run out (and they won't go bad because I plan to eat them with my greek yoghurt once a day).
In relation to grocery shopping, I am determined that I will not eat a lot of processed foods. I will also try not to eat out too much. Now, I am not going to be too strict about that. Of course, I can't help it when I am out with friends or with my parents (just tonight we spent all night trying to find a place to eat out). But I can help it when I am alone. It's not fast food that I have a problem with (I haven't had fast food in a long time...excluding In 'N Out. I am talking McDonald's, Carl's Jr., etc.). It's the fact that when I do eat alone by myself I don't eat fast food. I eat the slightly more pricey food. If I am going to save, might as well cut that out. And the avoiding processed food is a given. As I told my dad, I don't want to be so preserved that I am 110 years old and I just want to die because I am lonely. I want to die a good ripe age of 80 without the help of preservatives. Again, I understand that some foods are going to have preservatives. But I can at least cut out most of them. For instance, when I used to bring lunch into work I would eat the Lean Cuisines and Healthy Choice meals. Those are good calorie wise, but think of all the weird chemicals they put in there to make them low calorie. I would rather have middle calorie intake and know what is going into my food. So lately I have been bringing lunch with food that can carry. Like burritos that I make on the spot or turkey burgers (burgers that I put together, grilled and froze in the freezer). This time around I went even further and bought sweet potatoes (already cut into spears) and made my own sweet potato fries and froze for my future lunch. Because sometimes I don't even trust the frozen packages they have at Trader Joe's.
Of course, I am not going to be strict. If I slip and buy a package of frozen sweet potatoes I am not going to make a massive scene (picture: wailing, a kimono, and a white mask streaked with tears). This is just me wanting to feel better about my food choices. This comes down to two desires: 1. save money and 2. to stop being an over-eater. Now, I know #1 would be easier with a full time job and #2 will never happen. But I can try, right? I can at least make it a habit to want to eat better foods and not crave fatty, carbo-filled, chocolate-covered, massive amounts of preservatives that fill my waking dreams. Right? I think so.
Don't worry, my friends. I will not be moving to a farm and asking you to call me Rainbow. Yet. ;)
The travails and gallavantings of an Asian queer lady who loves to read, write, and create havoc.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Get the Back Up
The weekend after New Year's, my sister and I went skiing. I haven't skiied much since last year, but I was confident that I would still be warmed up to do all right for that weekend. Well other than my muscles hurting, I was doing just fine. I was going down the mountain with ease.
Until that late afternoon. What used to be wonderful powder was now becoming slippery ice and as I was going down one run I was surprised by one icy patch. What ensued was a comical roll down the hill that involved losing my glasses, goggles, hat, and one ski. When I was younger this type of wipeout would involve a sad rendition of a spoiled little brat with tears. This time, I looked with blurred eyes up the mountain and attempted to climb that mountain until I had all my possessions in hand. Even as I continued to slide down the hill, I would just get back up and climb again.
As I was attempting this foolhardy mission, I just kept thinking how this could be a metaphor for life. So you failed. Just get back up. So you wiped out on a random patch of "ice" and rolled down the hill. You can still get back up and collect yourself. You may be a little sore, but you are still alive.
In Life, I have always been afraid of failing in my decisions. But I have slowly been accepting that it's ok to fail. As in skiing, I can get back up and move on. It's a great feeling knowing that failing is not always a bad thing.
On that note, I should accept that in my cooking as well. I have been failing in my cooking times so that the food I have been cooking is undercooked. I have been reacting how I used to (blaming other things, factors, etc). But I need to realize 1.) thicker slabs of meat will need more time and 2.) it's ok to fail in cooking. Just make note of it and move on. At least this time it's not the flavor but cooking time.
So, just like with skiing, I just need to get the back up and regain composure. It's ok to fall down.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Until that late afternoon. What used to be wonderful powder was now becoming slippery ice and as I was going down one run I was surprised by one icy patch. What ensued was a comical roll down the hill that involved losing my glasses, goggles, hat, and one ski. When I was younger this type of wipeout would involve a sad rendition of a spoiled little brat with tears. This time, I looked with blurred eyes up the mountain and attempted to climb that mountain until I had all my possessions in hand. Even as I continued to slide down the hill, I would just get back up and climb again.
As I was attempting this foolhardy mission, I just kept thinking how this could be a metaphor for life. So you failed. Just get back up. So you wiped out on a random patch of "ice" and rolled down the hill. You can still get back up and collect yourself. You may be a little sore, but you are still alive.
In Life, I have always been afraid of failing in my decisions. But I have slowly been accepting that it's ok to fail. As in skiing, I can get back up and move on. It's a great feeling knowing that failing is not always a bad thing.
On that note, I should accept that in my cooking as well. I have been failing in my cooking times so that the food I have been cooking is undercooked. I have been reacting how I used to (blaming other things, factors, etc). But I need to realize 1.) thicker slabs of meat will need more time and 2.) it's ok to fail in cooking. Just make note of it and move on. At least this time it's not the flavor but cooking time.
So, just like with skiing, I just need to get the back up and regain composure. It's ok to fall down.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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