Stand Your Ground, Woman!

When I started my second semester of school, I had told my boss that I won't be able to come in on my days off. I knew this semester was going to be more difficult because I am taking higher numbered courses which equals a more difficult course load. And she seemed fine with it. She understood.

But I think that was her just dismissing it to me being silly.

When my supervisor took the day off for her birthday, she didn't bother. She knew I would say no. But last week, she asked me to come in a half day for the other Jennifer because she had to do school. I thought because it was a half day I could do it. But I couldn't. I was not only getting over a cold, I didn't realize that I had two major assignments due that week. So I was going to work and doing school work all that week. I finally got so exhausted that I said "That's it!" and called in sick on Friday.

That Friday was the best day ever too. I got homework done. I got other chores done. I was able to organize my LIFE. And that's when I realized that I was falling into the same pattern. I mean, the people and the situations were different, but I was again not living my life to the fullest. I was letting work stress me out because I was letting it rule my life. And that was the whole entire reason why I quit my last job: so I can live my life to the fullest and not let a job rule my life. When I was not in school, I was able to do that with my job. I went in and then I left. If I had to work extra hours, that was fine because I didn't have to juggle.

But now that I started school, I need those days off because I schedule my school around work. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't I schedule work around school? School is not my whole entire life, but it is a means to a better job and a better career. In my head, school is more important than this job. So why am I back-bending for this job to appease them? Why am I sacrificing my school time when they can not time manage well?

So, after doing the numbers and figuring things out, I figured out today that I can survive with only working two days instead of three. As my lady said, might as well work less and finish school faster so I can get to my career faster. So I set it in my mind that I would talk to my boss about cutting my hours.

And then I look at my email and find an email from my boss asking me if I can come in on Tuesday. For Easter baskets. It's like because I said okay to a half day I would be fine with a whole day. Even though I was doing it as a favor to the other girl for her school (because maybe one day she will do ME a favor for my school). My school is just not important, apparently. Forget the fact that I was so exhausted that I had to call in sick on Friday. Nahhhh, she needs to come in to work so she can do god damn Easter baskets.

*calming down*

I stood my ground though. I said, "No, I won't be able to come in because I have to study." That's all I said. I was thinking of also saying, "By the way, I want less hours" but I was told that it may be better to tell her in person. Which I agree. But I am scared that I will forget or I will chicken out. But I have to do this. Because if I don't I will keep making the same mistakes over and over.

I don't like how I become when I am stressed or exhausted. I don't like how angry I get. I don't like it. I want to go through life happy and calm. But I can't do that if I am spending most of my time fighting with my boss to keep my days off. It feels like she thinks my school is not as good as the other girl's (even though she is just doing community college and is doing general ed). She is allowed her days off. Why can't I?

I am standing my ground. I am not going to let her boss (ha ha) me around. And if she decides that this isn't conducive to her law firm, then this is another reason for me to leave and me to finally suck it up and find a job closer to my career. But, we will see.

No more!