Hair Drama! And other things a'changing...

After a break-up, what does a woman do? She cuts her hair. Because tattoos are extremely permanent and piercings are something you can get only when you are much younger and experimenting. And so that is what I did.
Unfortunately, what I wanted did not turn out to be what I got. What I wanted was this:

What I got was this:

Thankfully I have great friends with good connections. Once I sent the picture to them they immediately said, "Anthony's Beauty Salon in Oakland! Request for Richard!" Let me say that I am very glad I took their advice. Beause, after much talking through and examining what in heaven's name my mom's beautician did to me, I got this:

Me likey! And, yes, I have to do more styling than I am used to but I feel more confident in this hairstyle. And the comments are flowing in. It is definitely shorter than what I wanted, but everyone tells me that it actually thins out my face rather than plumps it up. But my family has a portrait of all of us in our family room that says at a certain weight and style it does not thin out my fac.

So that leads me to my next change. I was getting fed up at how I was eating. I will not give up the hamburgers, but I will try to eat less of them. And carne asada burritos will definitely have to be put on the side burner (although today I am getting one as a last hurrah to East Palo Alto and my internship). More greens. More fruits. Less grease. Less sugar. Less food in general. I was starting to overeat, and that is something that I want to put a stop to since I now have a shorter haircut that can't hide the extra poundage. What's interesting is that you would think as someone who is sad over something would eat more. I am finding that when I am really sad I don't want to eat. Drinking on the other hand...but I am controlling that too, don't worry my friends. It's when I am stressed or extremely happy that I want to overeat. Stress, common. But happiness? Never thought that could happen. I am not going back to Weight Watchers (can't afford it), but I am going to start monitoring what I am eating. Maybe start doing a food diary again to see what I am putting in my mouth and make myself accountable. As I told someone at work, I am not going to get fat over this break-up. So there!

I was told by a friend that I am in revenge mode. I don't think that's the case. I think it is a case of trying to move on and get the stuff that wasn't working out of my life. Hence why I went through my closet last night and got rid of a lot of my clothes. And that is a feat because I used to have clothes from when I was in high school. Yes, I am a hoarder. Blame the mother who likes to throw away perfectly good sandals when you're not looking *end rant*. There was one sweater that I wanted to give another chance. But, no, I carelessly put it in the bag to be sent to charity. It felt freeing to get rid of all this stuff that has been in my closet for ages. These clothes even traveled with me to Sonoma county and back, but were never worn. It was like getting rid of emotional baggage that is actually physically in front of you. It was freeing.

Of course, I plan to fill it up again. I need sweaters for the winter, don't I?

I feel these changes are going to be good in the long run. I don't know why, but I just do. I needed this change. I am not sure whether it was because of the break up or it was because it was just time. Sometimes I wonder if the Universe has these events happen to kick start you into what you are destined to do. The Universe is telling you, "Think, dammit, think!" and pushes you towards these events. There is always free will, but there is also that hidden hand that somehow always comes into my life and says, "No, I know you want this but..." Because, honestly, I can't imagine shit just happening. It happens for a reason, and the reasoning is just not apparent when you are in the midst of it blowing up and stinking in your face. So, we will see where these things lead me. I am letting everything just settle down and seeing where it takes me.

While I do that, I enjoy me my wine. Don't judge. You know you would do it too.