Meltdown #1,205

So I had my obligatory semester meltdown today.

How do I describe it but hitting a brick wall.

Today was already emotional for the fact that I woke up at 4:50 a.m. not wanting to (who ever wants to wake up at 4:50 a.m.?), then remembering this is the last time I will because this is my last week at the library. I have been middle of the road about the job ending. I am not a morning person, but I love doing what I was doing. Sometimes I would get bored (I am too productive for my own good), but I still loved it. And so as I was thinking about this job ending, I start suddenly thinking numbers in my head. Oh crap. Oh boy. Wait. How am I going to afford living off just this one job? Wait...Stitches West is coming up...how am I going to afford the yarn and pay for my bills this month? Woah...not possible. So, that means I can't buy yarn. After a year (long, torturous, broken-twice) of not buying yarn, I can't even break the fast. Are. You. Kidding. Me?

So, was already sad. Then got even more sad as we had our department meeting and had to brainstorm of how to cut costs (Realization kicking in: people still don't understand that literacy is important and Government doesn't care about libraries/education). Then saying goodbye to great coworkers (they gave me a gift card to Borders). Then realizing, again, that I won't be coming back again while getting things ordered for my old supervisor to come back from leave.

Only sunny silver lining: my kids were so good. And I finally saw the moment information became knowledge. I love it. And they earned their cupcakes.

Then coming home to find an assignment due tonight (or yesterday...could never figure out the midnight deadline thing...is it tonight or was it due this morning when I was blissfully sleeping?). It was all my fault. I didn't look at my calendar. I didn't look closely to the class announcements (none of my professors really used it without using the email function as well). Luckily it was a quick assignment and after calming down I was able to get it done (although I feel like I am missing something)...but still.

Brick walls hurt.

But don't worry: I will straighten my nose (like I always do) and be okay. Just need to get the crazy out before I can get back to the scheduled programming.

Okay, done.