Games

I like honesty. I prefer honesty in everything. I am the type of person that enjoys blunt honesty. Yes, I'll get butt hurt, but I can cope. I won't kill the messenger or anything.

So, I don't understand the mind games. I just don't. And when I put in my dating profile that I like honesty, I really mean honesty. Not a version of it that involves playing with my heart and making me cry and think something is wrong with me. Not the type that keeps me waiting by my phone thinking, "Just maybe..."

No. As in brutal honesty that trusts me enough to say, "Listen, I'm a little nervous and confused. I need some space to think about it."

As in the honesty that says, "I don't think this is working..."

That type of honesty.

So, with that, I am done. I am not going to wait by my phone. I am not going to say, "Well, maybe she really meant it." No more. I know what's going on. I know that you just want to string me along and keep me second guessing.

And I thought it was cute when you would say, "Should I be jealous?" when I was hanging out with a gal friend of mine. Yeah. That was all a game too, right? To make sure I was hooked? Hooked just right until you pulled away?

And when you said, "Do you still dig me?" I should have said "Maybe..." or "No" so you would keep talking to me, huh?

But, I guess I just am honest to a fault. And I guess you are going to continue to be an idiot and think you got me.

But you don't anymore. You don't. You are gone from my life. That's the lovely thing: I can delete your contact info from my phone. I can take you off my Facebook. I can push that button that says "Delete?" and feel no remorse. Why should I? I know when I am being played. I was played for a good amount of years, and look where it got me. I'm done with games. I am done with your so called "lies".

It's over.

It's over like a charred overdone steak.

It's just over.

And although my heart is slightly sore, I am ready to open it up again. Even though there are probably a ton of people just like you. Probably millions. I may just find every one of them. But I am not going to give you the satisfaction to know that I can't open my heart again. You don't deserve it.

You. Don't. Deserve. It.